
We had an unwanted visitor yesterday. A bee got in through our bedroom window, where we have an airconditioner. I was inclined to let the bee alone, but my wife and son, who both have aversions to things with more than 4, and less than 2 legs were not happy.
Unfortunately, there was no insect spray handy, and the bee was not being particularly cooperative about leaving, so I was tasked with getting rid of it, dead or alive. Unfortunately, the bee ended up dead. I found out later, it was a carpenter bee, rather than a bumble bee. Bumblebees are important polinators, carpenter bees do damage, so I’m glad the little bugger bought the farm.
At one point, my wife tried spraying hand sanitizer on it, in hopes that would make the insect decide to take off. Now being that hand sanitizer is in extremely short supply around here, a local distillery has been bottling pure grain alcohol and selling it in 8 oz. bottles. We put it in a spray bottle, and it works just fine when soap and water aren’t immediately available. Unfortunately, you also smell like a wino on a three day bender as a result. We’ve never gotten pulled over, but I do worry about explaining that to the officer.
The bee, saturated with booze, was in a word, buzzed. It spent several minutes grooming itself, and then began flying against the outside window, trying to escape, although less steadily than it had before. I swear it was slurring, to the point that Bzzzzzzz sounded like Bssssssh.
By this time, I had abandoned the animal to its fate, thinking that it would eventually succumb to alcohol poisoning. I was wrong.
It eventually escaped, only to meet its demise at the business end of a fly swatter when it took a moment to rest on the wall. My wife means business when she says “No creepy crawlies in my house!”